Marriage is hard. That’s one thing I’ve realised recently. Sometimes you feel like you just can’t go on and you don’t know what to do anymore.
My husband and I have encountered a few difficulties recently. We’ve found ourselves in situations that we’ve never dealt with before, and at times it has gotten intense. In these situations I find that its so easy to jump into a mindset of giving up, of things feeling too difficult, like there’s no solution. You want to scream and tell people never to get married because it is way too hard!! Like it would be easier to avoid the stress and just worry about yourself. But the truth is, its not too difficult and there is a way out. And, the beauty of coming out the other side of hard times together is invaluable.
I often find myself getting extremely distraught during arguments, because I feel like its a waste of valuable time- time that could be spent in happiness, making memories, having fun. A few times we’ve found ourselves arguing on days where we’ve planned days out- and it leaves me feeling like the day has been ruined.
Its taken some time to come to a clearer understanding that this isn’t true. It sounds silly to say, but to me, arguments are a good thing- they are not a waste of time, and they do not ruin special days. Because from arguments we learn. We learn so much about each other- we learn how to work better together and in the long run this brings more happiness then a few missed moments. Because, we get a better understanding of what is important to the other person, their boundaries and values and most importantly how you can help each other grow.
So, although sometimes I want to scream DON’T GET MARRIED. Do. If you have someone you want to marry, and things fall into place- don’t be afraid to make that leap. Because even though it will be tough at times, it will be worth it. There are hard moments and challenges, but not only do you grow through them together- you grow alone to. You learn about yourself as a person, the way that you function, and how you can better yourself.
Marriage, for me, is learning to be yourself- but remembering your a part of someone else too now. You fit together, and to function, sometimes you have to compromise. It will take some time to get going, and there will be bumps- but each new struggle helps you to function that little bit better.
xx